According to an AP report, dudes/dudettes at Japan’s National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology* have developed a humanoid robot**, but not to help with the dishes. No, this robot’s sole purpose (at an appropriate 95 pounds) is to model clothing.***
According to robot researcher Shuji Kajita, the robot is designed to resemble “an average young Japanese woman, aged 19 to 29″.**** She is 5’2″, which numerous folks have been told by several folks is ‘[too] ordinary’ for a fashion model and ‘rather short'”.*****
According to the report, “In a demonstration for reporters, the robot waddled out, blinking, a bit like an animation figure come to life, and said, ‘Hello, everyone,’ in a tiny feminine voice while its mouth moved”.****** After that, it was mostly downhill, as “The robot often looked surprised, opening its mouth and eyes in a stunned expression, when the demonstrator asked it to smile or look angry”.*******
However, despite the friendly greeting and charmingly inept emotions, the robot isn’t quite ready for the big time yet, as the demonstrators noted that the robot “Still hasn’t cleared safety standards required to share the catwalk with human models”. Not that models are ever that safe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEPN3CehhHE
People, we are totally fucked.
* So much cooler than the National Institute of Basic Industrial Science and Technology.
** What, you don’t have a metal and plastic gray body, too?
*** There was apparently a shortage of real human models?
**** Not even slightly creepy.
***** Have these people actually been to Japan? Heightist bastards.
****** It then squeaked out “Please kill me,” “May I please have cheese curds and a root beer float,” and recited the last 50 lines of King Lear before passing out and drooling on the floor of the exhibition hall.
******* After the demonstrator got up in the robot’s face and screamed “DON’T YOU WANT TO GET MAD? GET PISSED! HIT ME! I DARE YOU!”, the robot tore off both of the man’s arms and shot him in the chest with a laser pulse cannon mounted in its torso. It then smiled and said, “Hello, everyone” before doing the moonwalk around his cold, lifeless husk of a body.